How Can You Be So Smart and Yet So Stupid?
by slasher92
Summary: Jared has to leave.


Disclaimer: The boys are not mine. I just borrow them to play with. Nothing in this story is meant to reflect real life in any way, shape or form. It is entirely fictional and for sheer entertainment purposes with no monetary gain at all.

Notes: This was written with no purpose or direction. I was angry and hurt and just needed to vent and this is how I vent best.

"How the hell could you do this to me? Did you think that this wouldn't affect me too? I mean really Jared! This is fucking big! How could you just walk out on this?" Jensen screamed at me. I could only shrug. To be honest, I have no clue why I decided to quit. I just knew I had to.

"I can't do this anymore Jen. I have tried so fucking hard these past few weeks to keep it together but I just can't anymore. It isn't that big of a deal, you will find someone else to replace me. It's not the end of the world!" I had started off cam but by the end, I was just as worked up as he was.

"No. No, it is the end of the motherfucking world! You can't just walk away after all this time! You made a promise Padalecki and you sure as hell can't break it," Jensen was starting to turn red in the face a little and I had to fight back a laugh. It was really rare to see Jensen this upset over anything. Usually, he was the cool-headed one and I would be the one to lose it.

"I know what I did. I just can't keep doing this! Don't tell me what I can and can't do! I tried!" I sighed deeply before running a hand through my hair. "Listen Jen, I don't feel the same way anymore. It's not that I don't love this…I just can't keep doing it. It is taking too much out of me. There is so much more I want to do and if I stay here, I will never be able to do it. I have to get out of here. I know you don't understand and I don't expect you to, I just need you to let me do this. Please?"

Jensen looked down at the ground in defeat and I could tell he was close to breaking down. "Jare…I don't think I can do this on my own," he said in a low voice.

I walked over to him and put a tentative hand on his shoulder. "You wouldn't have to. You will find someone to replace me. Things will go on and you can do it," I said with a small smile as he looked up at me.

"You really think I could replace you that easily? You are one of a kind and can never be replaced no matter how hard or long I looked. So please don't make me look. You're the reason I did this…the reason I am still doing this. Please don't go," he said softly and it just about broke my heart. I knew that this all meant more to him than it had ever meant to me but I didn't know I was why he did it.

"Come with me. We can both leave, things would carry on." Well…not too sure where that came from. I looked at him hopefully, but that hope was short-lived when I saw the look on his face.

"No. I can't. I can't abandon this like that." I knew, right then, that no matter how much the other pushed, we had made up our minds.

I nodded once and looked down. This was it. It was probably the last time we would ever see each other. It wasn't something ever said, but I knew deep down that if I walked away, it was the end. I bit my tongue to stop the sudden way of emotions I felt. No matter how badly I would miss this, I knew that I had to get out before things got any tougher for me. It wasn't healthy for me anymore. "Jen…" I said, trailing off, not knowing what I was going to say.

"I know Jay. I know." We looked at each other for a long moment before someone pulled the other close and we were hugging as if the world was about to end. Which maybe Jensen was right about, maybe it was ending. The hug lasted longer than it probably should have but neither of us seemed to want to let go. Letting go meant the end of it all.

"I guess this is it," I said, my voice rougher than I'd care to admit. Jensen could only nod and his eyes were suspiciously shinny.

"Yeah. Just…take care of yourself, okay?" he said awkwardly.

"Yeah, okay. Bye Jensen."

"Bye Jared." With those final words, I turned and walked away. Deep down, I knew that this was the right thing for me but somehow I couldn't help but wonder if this was the right decision for me, if leaving would give me the freedom I needed…

Well, only one way to find out, I guess.


End file.
